


Hold Onto My Hand (Like A Hand Grenade)

by upset_and_confused



Category: Naruto
Genre: Boys Kissing, Declarations Of Love, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Kakashi With Social Anxiety, M/M, Morning Sex, Panic Attacks, Social Anxiety, Soft Kakashi, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 00:20:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14884034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/upset_and_confused/pseuds/upset_and_confused
Summary: This was supposed to be a soft lazy Saturday. Kakashi had kind of hand plans to not leave bed all day. Iruka has other ideas and that is fine... until it is not and Kakashi is standing in the middle of a crowd trying not to break apart.





	Hold Onto My Hand (Like A Hand Grenade)

**Author's Note:**

> I have loved the idea of Kakashi sharing my distaste for crowds for ages and I finally got around to writing it! Fun fact, this is loosely based on a moment I had in the middle of a drug store a couple of months ago. Follow me at [MagicalWeirdism](http://magicalweirdism.tumblr.com) on tumblr for all the Naruto opinions! Also, maybe toss a coffee my way, that would be really cool.

Iruka yawned, rolling over to press his face into what should be Kakashi’s pillow but was instead met with something firmer and harrier.

“You’re writing in bed again.” He mumbled into the thigh he was presently pressed against.

“Editing.” Kakashi muttered back, reaching to stroke his hair, “And I thought you were going to enjoy your day off and sleep in a little more.”

Iruka opened his eyes a fraction and observed Kakashi sitting in bed with his laptop on a pillow. He was without his usual scarf and his mouth was in a tight line as he focused on his work. With tired hands the teacher reached to lightly tug on his leg hair, eliciting a soft hiss from Kakashi. Iruka giggled and moved to wiggle his head under Kakashi’s arm, the older man grumbled faint protests even as he made room for his boyfriend. It was a Saturday and one of the rare Saturdays when Iruka didn’t have any papers to grade or lessons to plan. Today was for him and Kakashi to spend together.

A soft humming pricked Iruka’s ears and he glowed inside when he realized Kakashi was humming ‘Go to Sleep Little Baby’ while running his fingers through Iruka’s hair. “Hatake if you keep that up I really will fall asleep.” Iruka complained into Kakashi’s thigh drawing a laugh from the other man as he leaned over and rested his cheek on Iruka’s.

“Go to sleep, little baby.” He crooned off key ”Oh little baby won’t you go to sleep.” The laptop was quickly set aside as Kakashi leaned over him and sealed his lips in a kiss that tasted stale and sour.

“Gross.” Iruka complained weakly, holding onto him and nuzzling his neck.

“Cute.” Kakashi argued, laughing when his hair was yanked on. With a grunt Iruka rolled them over, straddling Kakashi’s waist and resting his hands on the man’s chest.

“So how are we going to spend out luxurious day off together?” He asked, already rolling his hips against Kakashi’s drawing a groan from the man beneath him, “Because I was thinking staying hidden under the covers for a few hours then going to that flea market we always miss then back to bed.”

Kakashi huffed softly, his blood rushing south as Iruka continued rolling his hips and grinning down at him. “Oh, ah, yes, yes!” He barked, it was too early for his minx of a boyfriend to be getting him so hot and hard already. God he loved this man. “Oh!” He groaned, distantly he heard alarm bells go off at the idea of going out to the flea market Iruka had mentioned but with the sheet separating his ass from Iruka’s cock being tugged away it was hard to think past “Fuck yes!”

*

The car stopped and Kakashi had to make a very pointed effort to not swallow his tongue.  

“Okay, I have been thinking I about a new end table and maybe some books for my classroom,” Iruka said, oblivious to the anxiety radiating from Kakashi. It wasn’t his fault, they had only been together two months and beyond a baseball game at the beginning of their relationship Iruka hadn’t really seen Kakashi out of his element before. Crowds though… those were out of his element.

“Okay!” Iruka chirped, startling Kakashi slightly, not that the man showed it behind his scarf, “Let’s go!”

Kakashi watched him hop out of the car and stand at the front waiting for him. You can do this, he thought, getting out and grinning when he felt the teacher link their hands together before heading toward the crowd. His stomach churned but he held on tight at Iruka drew them into the crush of people. He could do this.

*

Kakashi could not do this. He stood a little away from Iruka who was in the middle of negotiating for a small bookshelf with a man in a dirty white shirt. There were people milling all over the place, Kakashi held his breath as several people walked between him and Iruka while more walked behind him. He felt trapped and terrified, sweat was chilling his palms and he curled his fingers into a fist, cutting into his palm with his short nails. In through his nose, out through his mouth. Focus on breathing, focus on being here. There was a scream of a child near enough that it made his ears ring, the buzzing always trapped behind his ear drum jacked up. He reached for a book out of habit but he had elected to leave it at home, thinking he ought to spend his time staring at Iruka nod not Icha Icha. Boring a hole into the back of the man’s head was not working and between the noise and bustle it didn’t seem like Iruka had noticed Kakashi having an internal meltdown.

With shaky fingers he reached for his phone, at least he could drop himself into his book through his phone even if it wasn't the same. He only realized that he had been standing still, staring at the blank black screen for too long when Iruka’s voice reached him.

“Kakashi?” The tone was soft and concerned, all the same Kakashi jumped in surprise, his frantic eyes stilling when he finally focused in on Iruka. The school teacher looked worried and moved through the crowd with gentle purpose, he fit their hands together and knit his eyebrows when he saw the anxiety in Kakashi’s cobalt blue eye. “Kakashi are…” He seemed to realize the futility of asking if Kakashi was okay half way through the question and instead gave him a stiff nod and squeezed his hand. “Okay, come on, let's go to the car.” With a soft tug he began leading Kakashi back through the crowd. The older man gripped him like he was going to disappear if he didn’t hold on tight. They finally arrived at the car, Iruka opened the door for him and Kakashi sat in the passenger seat, loath to let go of Iruka’s hand. When the door shut and he had a moment where it was just him he let loose a breath he had been holding since Iruka grabbed his hand and he only just now realized he hadn’t exhaled.

The driver’s door opened and then closed. The sat in silence for a moment before a hand slowly moved to rest on his thigh. Kakashi nodded slightly, not sure what he was agreeing to but meaning it anyway. Iruka leaned across the center console and kissed him on the cheek. With his eyes still closed Kakashi smiled behind his scarf.

“Sorry.” He said, his head still buzzing too loud for him to talk in more than a whisper. “I don’t… crowds aren’t something to… I don’t like large groups of people.” He couldn’t see it but he knew Iruka was nodding.

“You should have said something.” Iruka said, his voice soft and low as he rubbed his thigh, “We didn’t have to go out if you didn’t want to.”

Kakashi shrugged, “You wanted to.” It was simple and short but it was the best explanation Kakashi could give his boyfriend.

Iruka blew out a huff of air and shook his head, starting the car as Kakashi opened his eye and looked at him out of the corners. “You do not have to do something just because I want to.” He muttered, he must have caught on to the fact that being loud would bother Kakashi’s ears because any other day Iruka would be yelling his head off about making choices and sacrifices and their needs being equal. Kakashi smiled and tugged his scarf low before leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. Iruka blushed lightly and huffed to himself as he backed the car up and reached to hold his hand. “Order in something with saury in it and your pick on Netflix when we get home?”

“I love you.” Kakashi replied, it was the first time either of them had said it and it probably should have waited until they were back home but hell he had never loved anyone like he loved Iruka in this moment.

In the silence that followed Kakashi strongly thought about how on earth he was going to deal with this breakup but was saved by the sudden feeling of his hand being crushed and a sniffling noise next to him.

“I am so mad you said it before I did.” Iruka said in a watery voice, “And I am so mad you are feeling too poorly for me to yell at you because damn you to hell Kakashi Hatake I love you too and we are discussing this at a later date in a more romantic setting.

Kakashi couldn’t help it. He threw his head back and laughed.


End file.
